tl;dr where do I get test clip ribbon cables? no one has cables that small. I already bought another one online that came with a nice ribbon cable (and a nicer mezzanine connection) but I want to make this one functional.
rant: I went to a store to get a clip, they didn't have cables for it but I bought it anyone assuming someone I know would have them - they didn't - and then I went back to the store wanting to return it (as it is useless to me), they said that they don't accept returns and the "advice" of the person being the counter was a smug "just solder it" - as if I should rely on a connection that flimsy and easily shortible to connect to many expensive motherboards.
In all three EE's total smugly telling me to "just solder it" and none of them having any idea where to get the cables is just bizarre, all that education you think they would understand the importance of doing things properly the first time.